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Family Goes Beyond Biology

December 21, 2025

Isaiah 7:10-16|Psalm 80:1-7, 16-18|Romans 1:1-7|Matthew 1:18-25

Matthew 1:18-25

 

18–Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19–Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. 20–But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21–She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”22–All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23–“Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” 24–When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife, 25–but had no marital relations with her until she had borne a son; and he named him Jesus.

This is one of the few passages from the New Testament that mentions Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father. We never hear him speak (unlike his mother, Mary), nor does he appear once Jesus begins his formal ministry. Joseph is not at the wedding feast in Cana or at the crucifixion. This leaves us little to go on if we are trying to understand who this man was and why he was chosen to hold such an important role in Jesus’ earthly life.

In reading the passage from Matthew we can discern a few things. Firstly, Joseph is said to be righteous – meaning that he had a right relationship with God. He also appears to be compassionate in response to Mary’s pregnancy. Even before seeing the Lord in a dream, Joseph agrees to end his engagement to Mary quietly and without public disgrace (something that he was entitled to within Deuteronomic law). But what must it have felt like first to know that your fiancé is pregnant with a child that is not your own and then to learn that that child is to be the son of God? What role does that leave for Joseph? How do you raise such a child? Can you punish him or will you be met with a snarky teen Jesus saying, “you’re not my real dad!”.

This made me reflect on my own life – the father and father figures that I have and those that will surround my son. We often hear the phrase “chosen family” – those that may not be biologically or legally tied to a person. We welcome these people into our lives in a purposeful relationship. Although my son has a biological father, grandfathers, and uncles he also has a Godfather, a Papi, “cousins”, and many more who will walk with and nurture him. I am grateful that some of these include members of our own church family. From Rodney, to Pastor Jonathan and Father John, to those in the choir, and the fathers who come for Wednesday night storytime then cook and clean for family dinner. They have excitedly anticipated my son’s arrival, marveled at his milestones, and encouraged him at every step. It is through these encounters that I am reminded of the power of relationships outside of biology and how they can have a remarkable impact on who we are and what we become.

Victoria Strang